How to Make Fake Wine
The amazing and hunky engineers at the Jacobs School of Engineering earthquake simulation laboratory would not let us break real wine on the shake table.
Engineer Paul, who runs the indoor earthquake simulator, refused to let us do anything to damage “his baby.”
The earthquake simulator is a giant hydraulic run steel plate with holes every 10 inches in a grid so you can attach things to it. Those holes also let liquid run straight down into the pumps that do the hard work.
So while he looked for records of earthquakes he thought might be interesting to simulate, we corked our own vintage of wine-colored water in Totally Unprepared branded wine bottles. A little food coloring, the hose, a wine bottle corker, and some labels is all the gear you need for you too to make fake wine that will be just as tasty as ours, and break just as well in the next big earthquake.
(Funny how he KNEW the wine would break, no? How come he knows it and the rest of us with unsecured wine racks don’t?)